bitterdiva |
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August 17, 2003Past enters present circleI live in the present. The past for me is too long ago that I have zipped it up and archived it for later use in the future. I have forgotten all the physical attributes of which my friends are compiled. The only thing for me that I remember is the color of their hair. Why cannot I embrace the past? Because its full of fucking moronic people who seem to have either hurt or forgotten me. Ex-boyfriends I cannot deal with because I just want to drive to their homes and take a deuce in their computer case. Friends have all moved away and started getting engaged, married, or having children. I give myself a lot of shit saying that I'm bitter, angry, and full of spite and revenge greater than Napoleon at Waterloo. The truth is, I am bitter and angry and full of spite, revenge and malice; but I do have a lighthearted side to me as well full of compassion, thoughtfulness, sympathy, and understanding. Though it mainly involves cute little furry creatures I do feel for living beings. And rarely do I forget someone’s birthday. In fact, I make sure that if some friend in my past has had a birthday, I e-mail them birthday wishes; because, I would want someone to do that for me. Does anyone in the past that I know of do that? No. No one remembers me on my birthday, no one sends birthday greetings to me, and I believe that half of the people fail to even remember me during the year until I send them a birthday greeting. One of my worst fears is spending my birthday entirely alone; I would rather die in excruciating deaths than to be alone. Birthdays are like bouquets; they look like shit when there’s only one of them. It hurts me greater than Chinese water torture to have the people that I once cared for forget all about me. And granted, I don't make much effort of trying to get in touch with them simply because I don't see much of an effort being made by them. That being said and getting back to my point is that Kris never has a problem with people hating him. At times, I'm often surprised at all the people that he knows and is friends with even if he doesn't admit it himself. He gets under people's skin like a cult leader and they just flock to hear the word of Kristian. I'm pretty certain if you looked at his persona dna it would be quite similar to Koresh, Manson, Bush, and Timothy Leary. In the past several weeks most of the important exes have gotten in touch with him, one's pregnant and married, one just got married yesterday (we were at the wedding), and there's one he hasn't talked with that is engaged. It's somewhat relieving for me to know that all these women are betrothed if not seriously involved with someone else. I'm not a jealous person but I do worry about these women trying to come back crawling and use the power of their cooch to influence him. It has happened before. What irritates me the most is the audacity one of these women have in saying that she has forgiven Kris and that she hopes he can return the sentiment. If he can, he’s an entirely better person than myself because of all the psychological torment she inflicted on him, I myself would have problems trying to restrain myself from inflicting physical damage. 11:11 AM
Comments*whispers* Hey, I remember birfdays! Posted by: Groundzero at August 17, 2003 12:19 PM Your birthday is 11 days before GG's. And I will remember. :) We are similar creatures. Very considerate, underappreciated :) Your sentiments are the same way I feel about my old friends. And it's sad because I'm a really good person. But I know how ya feel. Posted by: texasyankee at August 17, 2003 02:18 PM All the people with whom I am friends with currently and speak with on a current basis all know when my birthday is. I'm not seeking out some self validation, I am just presenting a case that it sucks when you're more considerate than people out there and then you get hurt when they disregard some facet of yourself. I hate people. Posted by: bitterdiva at August 17, 2003 03:04 PM Little did you know that I am in fact a clone-composite of all 4 people you mentioned! I collect people, that's what I do. It is awfully nice to be able to e-mail people and say "Hey, haven't talked to you in 5 years, what's up?" and have them invite me over for dinner and cult suicides. Posted by: Kristian at August 17, 2003 03:09 PM "People as a whole suck--it's persons that can be cool" Posted by: Groundzero at August 17, 2003 06:38 PM Oh yeah, and fuck those skanks. That feels good :) Yeah! Posted by: Groundzero at August 19, 2003 09:10 PM I completely understand. I made sure to take my birthday off (two days before I quit my old job?? yeah, right!!). I woulda celebrated your birthday with you (okay, a week or so late) if you were coming to the wedding, but I understand...some other time. :) Posted by: kraftus at August 22, 2003 02:43 AM Post a comment
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