bitterdiva

Because we all need a little Ralph action in the morning…

No, I’m not referring to the wonderful action of reverse peristalsis; I’m referring to Ralph Wiggum. That crazy little mofo gets me laughing whenever he’s in The Simpsons. Sunday’s episode was the ultimate Ralph experience, cov reminded me of the two quotes: "tomorrow we get to learn what 5 minus 3 is" and "you remind me of my mom after a box of wine." Also in the episode Ralph pees his pants for no apparent reason. Although it hasn’t been updated since 2001, here’s a site with tons of Ralph quotes. I think my favorite one has to be from this season or was it last... "sugar makes me both angry and happy."

Speaking of the weekend, it started off with a run to the beverage store that ended with a litre of vodka, a 6 of Bicardi silver, Blind Faith, and Dead Man's Ale (very good and it features a medieval skeletal pope); then we went to the market to pick up supplies for the next day, the order ended up with lemonade mix, stickers, pint glasses, and knives (6 of them to be precise). I think the cashier was highly amused. It's a pity though that I didn't include vasoline, duct tape, and whipped cream; that would've perfected the order.

Saturday was a clusterfuck that ended up with me drinking my happy lemonade in the mall parking lot. I spent 1.5 hours driving around the park searching for a parking spot that ended up with me dropping off two of my friends. Though bane suggests a new action figure: Road Rage X; comes with a fog horn, a gigantic foam middle finger, and in the fashion of the Green Goblin, poop bombs.

A'ight blah! It's Wednesday, and we all know that Wednesday is Organic Chemistry Final Day! I love waking up at 4:45 to study, except that I don't think I achieved too much studying. I'm tired and loopy (always the best way to take a final other than high or drunk) but I at least got Dunkies (onion bagel with chive cream cheese) and to work 15 minutes before I had to be here. The sad part is I already did my work and I'm praying that I don't get anymore so I can study. The good thing is, I at least know where I'm supposed to meet my prof to take the exam rather than the last time I took the class.

Oooh story time. So I was taking my ochem 2 final one bright and happy day during my sophomore year at rpi. I went to one building and waiting 15 minutes before realizing that the exam wasn't there. I ran to the library to check the schedule and found out it was across campus in the Amory. I book there arriving one hour into the exam. I take out my handy dandy enema kit and slap that on my section of the table. I figured I'd need that when I was done getting reamed in my ass by syntheses and mechanisms that I didn't know nor would I ever know during the final. The sacrifice of the virgin goat didn't appease the gods of partial credit. However, I still got a "C" in the class. Thank god for the bell curve. To fail the class you either had to not show up to the exams or get a -12 on several of them.

08:54 AM

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Posted by: Corey at May 15, 2002 11:02 AM

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